Everyone wants to be in a happy, healthy, loving relationship but most of us are epically failing at it. It’s not really our fault though, we’ve been brainwashed by storybooks, Rom-Coms, and TV shows to believe in a seriously flawed idea of love. We’ve been taught to love possessively, but this type of love is not ‘Real Love,’ and it can only ever lead to pain and suffering. Not sure which type of love you are engaging in?
Here’s A Checklist:
Possessive Love
- This is what most of us are taught to believe is ‘love’
- It isn’t love at all – it’s a flawed idea of love that’s based on possession, ownership, manipulation, addiction, codependence, and selfishness
- It is conditional with strings attached
- You look to your partner to satisfy all your needs, to ‘fix’ you, or make you feel loved, or whole
- You try to ‘fix’ your partner
- It often leads to cheating; or compulsive attachment, jealousy, and obsession
- The part of the brain that activates in this type of love is the same area that lights up from cocaine – this leads to a rollercoaster of pleasure and pain
- Possessive love causes more anxiety and pain than happiness and any relationship based on this type of love is doomed
Real Love
- This is what we need to strive towards
- You must first love and accept yourself fully, only then can you truly love another
- Real love is based on respect, acceptance, tenderness, and vulnerability
- It’s unconditional, you love your partner for who they are, not what they can do for you
- You don’t try to change them, you accept their flaws because you’ve learned to accept them within yourself
- You love them as a being, a soul, a life source
- You make time for them and are fully present when you are with them
- You’re honest and authentic and don’t try to hide parts of yourself or manipulate your partner
- There is no compulsive attachment and you take care of your own emotional needs
- You don’t ‘need’ your partner, you choose to be with them
- You offer love up and don’t need to get it back; as a result, you become a magnet, attracting deep, sincere, healthy and lasting love into your life
For more information on these two types of love and to learn the secrets to attracting Real Love into your life, watch my video below
If you’re sick of waiting and ready to meet the love of your life enroll in my online training course Mastering Love, Sex and Intimacy.
